“THE ADVENTURES O SPOCK: Spock Less
by DCMoney
Summary: A supernatural event causes a suicide on the Enterprise....


*I would like to note I am a dedicated Star Trek fan, having seen every episode of every series, and have toiled into every comment to find various unique story ideas. Here is my Promo for this new series, titled "THE ADVENTURES O SPOCK: I AM LEANORD NIMOY". If you wish to see my various sources for all the information continued with in go to WWW.JAKELARSON/STARTREKIE/AOL.com, or type in AOL keyword True Star Trek.  
  
Captains Log 19234344222232332 - There is no way I can explain the pain, no, the anguish, that I, Captain Kirk of the SS Enterprise, am feeling today, the day after our showdown with the master bastard Khan! Spock was a heterosexual life mate of mine, and as his life ends, so must mine. Awww, the memories, flowing like the sands of time themselves, which in themselves, flow like the rivers of Arctusnublous 5, which flow like my memories of the time I spent with Spock. Spock Jona Balsafar, the Vulcan on my ship, if you had been black, I may have respected you. But you are still my friend, and for that, I must die. I will slit mine own throat with this Federation Grade Utility Ka-Nife. Blood whilst flow like memories of the time I spent with Spock, flowing like the sands of time themselves, which in themselves, flow like the rivers of Arctusnublous 5, which flow like mine necks' blood. This is Captain Jeffery Allan Kirk, Signing out, much like many of my fellow astronauts gave up during the fifth congressional moon battle of The Terra Wars. So many gave up. And I mocked them. And now I join them......  
  
As Kirk took the blade to his neck, and began a slow, sawing of his Jugular, which soon sprouted quick bursts of blood. Kirk kept surprising quiet during his noble suicide, and his crew watched in awe and amazing amazement. This was the end. If not for a convenient monkey fight breaking out in Chimp Test Lab Alpha, the entire crew would have seen the following miracle.  
  
Spock appeared from nowhere, almost liked he materialization, and remained in a state of have way between the materialization process and our normal, solid bodies. Kirk screamed a girlish scream, which might have attracted the crew's attention, if not for the bloodcurdling screams of the black chimp losing his monkey knife fight. This ghost Spock had all the characteristics of the normal, human Spock, except stubble had grown on his chin (much like that of the evil Spock's goatee from season 17), and he had a ghastly bluish tint. The Spock stated three simple words to Kirk, " There is another! FORCE HEALING!" With that, a blue haze surrounded Kirks Jugular, and it soon healed. Kirk was amazed. He was about to ask his deceased friend about this marvel when suddenly Spock unveiled a long rod. "This other will pay soon enough, but you will go first, my stubby friend. For it is illogical that you would defeat me, I suggest that you do as they say, and say your rituals!" Spock spoke this in his usual Vulcan way. During his speech, had pushed a button on the black rod, and a bright, colored beam shot a few feet out of it. Kirk corrected his friends hilarious mistake of human sayings, " I think you meant 'Say your prayers', not ' say your ritu.." Ghost Spock brought the Lightsaber beam down on Kirk. Captain Kirk tried deflecting with the Federation Grade Utility Ka- Nife, but this failed, and Kirk's limbs were spread this way and perhaps that. Kirk's muscles in his mouth had various convulsion's, resulting in the words, " I am the last one!" Then a voice replied, " There is another!" I stout figure with perking ears sat on a chair. Ghost Spock recognized him as Yoda, from the moons of Eisen, a resort and day spa all in one. " Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" Yoda's lightsaber abilities were quite good, but Spock's were better, having grown up and died a Vulcan. Yoda's remains crashed to the ground, flowing blood mingled with the leather flesh of this stout creature, much like memories of the time Kirk had had mingled with his final moments of tortuous agony dished out by the blood lusted Vulcan, which in turn was like the creation of the Mud of Life, which is the mingling of the sands of time and the waters of the rivers of Arctusnublous 5, which flow like the blood mingling with the leathery flesh of that green, stout creature. Ghost Spock's work was not finished here.  
  
Spock approached the bloody battlefield that had once been the quarter of Captain Kirk. A brown tinted chimp was charging an armless black chimp with his knife. It let out a scream of victory as it made it's rush, out of its open knife wounds came flowing blood which mingled with the creature's furry hide, similar to the mingling of leathery flesh and blood of the now departed Yoda, which were much like memories of the time Kirk had had mingled with his final moments of tortuous agony dished out by the blood lusted Vulcan, which in turn was like the creation of the Mud of Life, which is the mingling of the sands of time and the waters of the rivers of Arctusnublous 5, which flow like the blood mingling with the furry hide of that brown chimp. The other chimp was limp and struggling to get one more fight in. Ghost Spock noticed the poor creatures will to survive and moved to intervene. Just as the brown chimp had reached the severely wounded black chimp, Spock's saber lit up and made it's way into the fray. The blade sliced and diced, and Spot giggled with glee as he slaughtered the wounded black chimp, dividing its body into several pieces. The other monkey watched, amazed that such a powerful creature existed, but had little time to consider more than this, as his head was lobbed off.  
  
Course Plotter Steven Alred had a large sum of money on the black chimp that had died first because of the strange man who was standing in the middle of the battlefield. Alred ran at the strange, ghastly man, but before he could ask why the hell he had murdered the chimps, the strange man lobbed off his head.  
  
" If anyone else wishes to die, please step forward!" Ghost Spock say this with such arrogance that his sarcasm was not understood, and several of the crewmembers rushed to fetch the patients patiently waiting at the ship's Suicide Ward. Ghost Spock made his command clear, " You will take me to the planet of Hostes, where I will find ' The Other', is that clear?" The women in the group shuddered and cried, as women usually do, and the men wept, saying they were to important to die. Ghost Spock took this to mean that they would willingly comply with his orders. A few minutes later, the ship's hard drive was running, humming like the hummingbirds of Terra, which hum like the muffler of a Benz, which hum like the Borg Cube, which hum's like the SS Enterprise's hyper drive.  
  
In a few seconds, Spock had reached his goal. Below him was the planet Hostes, it's colors were of green and red, much like the colors of a Terra holiday called Christmas, which shares it's color's with the green, leathery flesh and red, stingy eyes of the creature known formally as Yoda. Spock made one command: "Deploy the Pocket Sized Death Staruz!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
A marble like ball shot into space, toward the planet. When it was within a few miles from the atmosphere, a long green beam shot out at the planet, which exploded when the beam reached its surface.  
  
"It's done, I am the last one!" Ghost Spock hopped up and down, laughing manically. But, out of the planets dust came another ship, the USS Enterprise, captained by Patrick Stewart Picard, a high ranked Admiral of Terra's navy. "Deploy another Pocket Sized Death Staruz!!!!!!!!!!" But the crew could not comply, for at this range would be suicide. But those of the Suicide Ward said it would be safe, so Spock made it an order! But before a second of those death machines could be deployed, Picard and his crew appeared out of nowhere. " Scotty, you fat ass hole. You are a traitor!" Picard fazed Ghost Spock, and the laser caused Ghost Spock to loose a limb. But the ghastly the figure's arm slowly re-grew. During this process, Picard started to begin the resurrection process to revive Captain Kirk. He was just about done when he sensed a disturbance in the force. Instinctively, Picard whirled while turning on his light saber. His saber caught Ghost Spock's square in the middle. They had gotten in a saber lock. Both pushed hard, but Picard begin Rumulan was stronger, and managed to get Ghost Spock to the ground. But the ghastly figure was yet to give up. Using a somersault, Spock got to his feet and made a jab at Picard. It missed, but it ka-nocked Picard to his ass. Ghost Spock built charged, saber out, ready to kill. But before the ghost could kill, he stopped, his malicious smirk turned into a frown. He felled to the ground, and impaled himself on his own saber. The tyrannical reign of Ghost Spock was over (SEE ALSO: Ghost Spock will return in Spock Wars: Attack of the Clones). " Get your hands off him, you damn dirty ape!" Standing behind the fallen hero was two men. A Captain, and his best friend, both recently resurrected. Both had shot, but only one had hit. You decide which..(!  
  
Picard and his crew said their good byes, and departed for there ship. In a few seconds, the USS Enterprise began moving. As it ready for Hyperspace, a large SNAP was heard, then a boom. And then the ship was no more, disappearing in a cloud of fire and metal. " I AM THE LAST ONE!" Said a smirking Captain Kirk!  
  
Several days had passed since the horrific events of that day. Since no one of the SS Enterprise knew where the planet Hostes was, the slowly drifted through space toward the nearest star, to get their bearings. A large, green and blue in the distance. The ship was low on gas, so the decide to harvest some from this planet.  
  
The SS Enterprise landed in a desert like area, near a city. Kirk was disgusted by what he saw. Everything was gray and barren. A large fence was nearby, and poorly dressed humans climbed it. " This desert. no, this wasteland! I've rarely. no, I've NEVER seen such a horrible. uncivilized planet such.. such as this barren hellhole. . I will have to intervene. no, WE'LL need to CIVILIZE this pathetic nightmare. It's people are.. unruly. untamed.. unintelligent. There is only us to save them.. We mu-!" Before Kirk could finish his usual monologue, Spock interrupted. " Captain, sensors show that this planet is Earth, circa 2003, outside a place called Mexico City..  
  
Until Next Time fellow explores. no, fellow Trekies!!!  
  
*Note that all I said in my intro is not true. This is a parody. 


End file.
